When The Kids Like The Other Parent More
Brenda Miller • July 20, 2016
Kids ‘like the other parent better’ because (get ready, this needs to be said and then changed within you – I’m on your side!) – kids like the other parent better because you are insecure, dislike and resent the other parent, and, are competing with them for the love of your child/ren. Ouch.
It’s a big deal these days with so many ‘broken homes’. If you have this problem and see it through new eyes, change will happen. You can live your life without wasting upsetting energy thinking about the other parent.
How to do this?
- Make peace within yourself about the other parent. Accept them 100% for who they are: living with beliefs that cause them pain, and their choices are their choices. Accepting them doesn’t mean you have to agree, it means you place no more expectations (that hurt your) on them. It is possible for you to be happy within yourself no matter what they are doing. Why should you suffer for what they do??? Even if the other parent is irresponsible in every way, if you are accepting you will be able to do what needs doing more easily. Do this now: sit quietly and see what it feels like to accept the other, no matter what.
- Learn more about your insecurities by noticing when you are competing to be a better parent: giving treats, being falsely nice, spending money on them to wow them, unnecessarily. Also, notice other situations where you feel insecure and then notice that insecurity isn't helpful and not even true.
- Learn more about what you ARE really good at or like to do, and do it with your kids and, be willing to do what they like too. Give yourself the life you want by putting your attention and energy on what you want.
- Learn more about why you resent the other parent. Make a list of your resentments and sit with them one by one and feel all the feelings that come up until they dissipate. Our resentment of the other hurts us more than them.
- Be yourself. Honestly is a kid-magnet.
- Give kids lots of your time. Not to make them like you better, but because it will pay off in every possible way. Kids are great fun when you enter their world.
- Put yourself in your child’s shoes and treat them the way you would like to be treated.
- REFUSE TO BE HARD ON YOURSELF. It won't help - ever.
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